4 Months Later...

Chris & I got married on June 9th, 2012.  It was the most perfect evening.

We had about 3 weeks of newlywed bliss before I saw the first dirty sock (or 10) all over the bedroom floor.  3 weeks before he found the Brita filter empty one morning (or 4 mornings).  3 weeks before it was my turn to take care of the dogs in the morning, when it was really his turn.  3 weeks before he (I) forgot to take out the recyles, before he worked too many hours at his 2nd job, before I didn't help take care of the pool; it was 3 weeks before we started to fall from perfection.  There is this horrible stigma that comes with many newlyweds-everything is bliss. When you realize it's not-that life is really normal, with ups & downs-it can be a bit of a letdown.

September was a really hard month for us.  We spent most of it with an invisible line down our bed, angry words on our lips, and blaming in every point of a finger.  But when fall came in a month later, so did forgiveness & acceptance-acceptance that we didn't have to be a perfect couple, that trying to be a perfect couple drove us farther apart, because we weren't being true to our selves, and our relationship.

4 months after our wedding, I have learned the following:
1) I will never, ever spend another night with my back turned to my husband.
2) Fights are normal.  They don't make your relationship a failure.
3) Men don't really understand periods, or ovulation, or ovaries, or PMS...and it's probably better that way.
4) I still don't know why his bathroom habits should be part of any conversation.  Or why he comes out of the bathroom smiling after he's been in there for 20 minutes.  I have learned nothing about this part.
5) Don't ever tell your mother anything about your relationship that you don't want her to remember FOREVER.
6) Listen to your husband when he talks.  If he's anything like mine, his words are chosen carefully, with a purpose.  99% of the time, he's more rational than me.

and

7) Never, ever correct him when he says "ob-ulation" instead of "ov-ulation."  It is too fucking cute.

Here's to you, the love of my life!

Now you will feel no rain
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now each of you will feel no cold
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness for you
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons
But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

-An Apache Wedding Blessing, read at our ceremony