"You're Probably Not Ovulating"

The Husband (Chris) & I had this moment in May of this year, about a month before we got married, where we decided that it was close enough to the wedding that it wouldn't matter if I was walking down the aisle knocked up, and just went for it.  Truthfully, I wouldn't have minded walking down the aisle 7 months pregnant, but my parents may not have gone for that.

Such a big decision sparks the tiniest, fleeting thoughts that enter your mind everyday, like shooting stars.  "Can I take this Tylenol?"  "Is this allergy pill going to make it harder to get pregnant?"  "What if I'm pregnant right now, ohmygod, put down the wine glass."  It is very easy to become consumed by these thoughts, and takes calculated effort to not live your life like you're pregnant until you're ACTUALLY pregnant.

I started to know something funny was going on in July.  My period was 'late', according to how long my cycles usually lasted, and I had a lot of mid-month cramping.  August, my cycle was even longer, and I started charting: using ovulation predictor kits (OPKs), and taking my BBT (basal body temperature) to see when I was ovulating.  All the results I got from doing this were all over the map.  I was getting positive OPKs more than once a month, which isn't supposed to happen.  Temping is supposed to show a clear temperature shift which can indicate ovulation, but I was unsuccessful with this, because I'm a horrible sleeper and you really need to temp at the same time each day.

On Tuesday, Sept 24th, I got a positive OPK (this generally means you will ovulate 12-36 hours later, but it's possible to get a positive OPK and never ovulate-your body tries & fails).  Ten days later, on October 4th, I woke up & took an OPK.  It was positive, which I thought was weird, since I already had one that cycle.  I remembered reading online that you can also get a positive OPK if you are pregnant (because the 'ovulation' hormone (LH) and the pregnancy hormone (HCG) chemically look the same on an OPK), so I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive.  And then another one 10 minutes later, and that was positive too.  I woke up H and we both cried happy tears, and all the stress that had been nagging me in the back of my mind-saying 'something's wrong, you have these weird symptoms, your cycles are weird, you need to talk to your OB'-disappeared.  We did it!  I called my doctors office and made an appointment for the next morning.

The next morning before the appointment I woke up and took another pregnancy test.  It was negative.  I went into panic mode.  My doctor did a beta blood test (quantitative pregnancy test-measures the amount of HCG in your blood, not just the presence of it) and confirmed that there was no HCG.  No pregnancy, no baby.  The hardest thing I've ever had to do is tell H that it was all one big mistake.  A fluke, maybe?  A false positive?  Sometimes ovarian cysts can produce HCG, which could turn a pregnancy test positive.  I cried myself to sleep for two days. I mourned the loss of something I never really had.  I thanked God I hadn't told my mom that I had gotten a positive pregnancy test.

Fast forward to Friday, Oct 12th.  I started having horrible, cramping pains.  I blew up overnight-6 lbs!  My face broke out, I was an emotional wreck, and I started to remember these feelings from 8 years ago-ruptured ovarian cysts.  I made an appointment with my doctor, and that brings us to today.

"Based on the symptoms you're describing, you probably have polycystic ovarian syndrome, possibly Type 2 diabetes.  I'm going to order an internal ultrasound, a fasting glucose test, and check all your thyroid levels. Since you're getting multiple positive OPKs per month (a common symptom of PCOS), you're probably not ovulating.  I'm going to start you on Metformin today, which should help you lose weight, and hopefully spark ovulation."

Boom.  "You're probably not ovulating" might as well be saying "Your body is not doing the one thing biology dictates it should do."  I know that until I get the test results nothing is confirmed, but because I have had a near-diagnosis in the past, my OB is pretty sure that what I'm experiencing now is PCOS.

She's starting me on 500 mg Metformin 2x/day.  My u/s is Oct 31st, and I can get the bloodwork done about 5 days after I finish the prednisone I'm on right now for bronchitius.  My followup appointment is Nov 27th, 3 days before we leave for our belated honeymoon.  I feel grateful that there is a plan in place, but disgusted with my own body at the same time.  I have been busting my ass counting calories, kicking butt on my elliptical, and my weight still isn't moving.  This is another common symptom of PCOS, because of the insulin resistance.  The Metformin should help with this.

So now, we're in a sort of testing period, trying out the medicine, having the tests done.  Nov 27th seems really far away to hear any answers.